Untoxicated Podcasts

Exploring the questions of alcoholic relationship recovery.

A dry drunk is a label associated with someone who white-knuckles his way through sobriety. A dry drunk might not be drinking alcohol, but he is not learning, growing or seeking the enlightenment of recovery. Sheri and Matt are in the middle of a raw and traumatic dry relapse in their relationship recovery. Alcohol has had no place in their marriage for 3 1/2 years now, but the lack of trust and need to be trusted has sent us reeling into a pit of despair as though we are still in active alcoholism. The pain and hopelessness is palpable in this episode recorded during the depths of the conflict. Here we explain in vivid reality the number one reason most marriages in recovery from alcoholism end in divorce.

If you resonate, and you want a safe place to share your story of loving an alcoholic, please check out our Echoes of Recovery Program.

Echoes of Recovery

One of the most common concerns Sheri and Matt hear from the loved ones of alcoholics is, “He’s a drunk asshole now, but what if he sobers up, and he’s still an asshole?” The processes of alcoholism sobriety and relationship recovery are long and arduous, and they take as much patience as they require effort. Just as alcoholism is a progressive disease, there is a progression to recovery. We don’t lose our asshole-ness as soon as we put down the drink. It takes time, and the final destination isn’t perfect. But it’s a good, normal, asshole-free messy.

If you are the loved one of an alcoholic, and you would like to connect with others who know what you are going through, please consider joining our Echoes of Recovery program. Check out the link below:

Echoes of Recovery

Sheri and Matt had drastically different exposures to alcohol when we were growing up, and we carried that experience into our parenting roles. Our kids were all exposed to Matt’s alcoholism, to varying degrees because of their different ages, but now, they are all exposed to this experiment where both parents are both sober and educated on the dangers of alcohol. On this episode, we talk about our excitement about the outcomes so far of our approach to parenting in recovery. But we also share our anxiety about the future. We encourage anyone who wants to transform their family unit to one where alcohol has ben eliminated, and the truth about alcohol is exposed, to consider joining our Echoes of Recovery program for the loved ones of alcoholics. For more information, or to enroll, please click the link below:

Echoes of Recovery

Sheri and Matt are big believers in the power of vulnerability, and the huge gains in enlightenment and healing we have made as a result of recovering out loud. But in this episode, we talk about friendships lost through the recovery process. These losses are a real thing, and they cannot be ignored. But then we pull the conversation out of the ditch and talk about how thankful we are for the profoundly deep and meaningful friendships that would not be possible if not for the recovery of our alcoholic marriage. And the Echoes of Recovery program is a huge part of that. To learn more about Echoes of Recovery, or to enroll, please click the link below:

Echoes of Recovery

Sheri and Matt talk about the evolving process of learning to trust instincts. The greatest challenge to listening to what she knows to be true are the lingering alcoholic relationship insecurities.

We share the “lightbulb moment” from our Echoes of Recovery program which provides connection for the loved ones of alcoholics. The sharing and communication gives a validation of instincts not available anywhere else in the recovery world. Echoes of Recovery is loved ones of alcoholics helping other loved ones of alcoholics to heal and thrive, and it’s a beautiful thing. For more information, or to enroll, check us out at:

EchoesOfRecovery.com

I had a huge ego as an active alcoholic. I thought I was great. My wife, Sheri, found me repulsive and stupid, and she felt betrayed by my love of alcohol. When I stopped drinking, Sheri’s feelings and attitude did not automatically change. I was sober and our relationship continued to deteriorate. I thought I was married to a bitch.

In this episode, Matt and Sheri talk about my awakening – my realization that our relationship problems were not all her fault. The challenge of blaming the disease, and having patience in recovery, is what trips up most relationships in recovery, resulting in so many divorces.

If you are the loved on of an alcoholic, we encourage you to check out our Echoes of Recovery program where we offer connection and understanding of our shared stories. You are not a bitch, and we know it. Checks us out at:

EchoesOfRecovery.com

Active alcoholism is selfish, but everyone knows that. Early sobriety is equally selfish, but this time, for a good reason. For Matt and Sheri, our relationship has long been about prioritizing Matt’s needs while Sheri holds it all together. But the pressure has been building through it all, and without a recovery plan of her own, no amount of time heals the wounds. So now, it is Sheri’s turn to be priority number one in the relationship and in her recovery.

Three years into recovery from Matt’s alcoholism, fearful anticipation lingers for Sheri. In this episode, we discuss the worry and anxiety that Sheri feels when bringing up even the most innocent and uncontroversial of topics, and we talk about how Matt is less judgemental than he was as an arrogant alcoholic. We also laugh about fake poop and dirty underwear.

One of the most widely accepted misperceptions about alcohol addiction is that the drinkers are the only people facing enormous challenges in recovery. The fact is that the loved ones of alcoholics have just as much work to do to heal, and the stigma associated with codependency makes the work just as challenging.

In this episode, Sheri and Matt introduce our new Echoes of Recovery program for the loved ones of alcoholics. We discuss what we offer to the millions of effected loved ones, and we talk about what we hope to gain in our recoveries by facilitating this program. We hope you’ll listen. If you’d like to read more about Echoes of Recovery, or if you’d like to enroll, please check out Echoes of Recovery.

On our first remotely recorded episode due to the COVID-19 pandemic, Matt and Debbie Scheer discuss the public policy decision that threw Denver into chaos. The mayor announced that liquor stores and marijuana dispensaries were not essential, and would close the following day. That order lasted about an hour due to the chaos it caused. Lines wrapped around blocks as people scrambled to get their booze before their access was cut off. It would be funny if not so damn sad, for a number of reasons that Debbie and Matt discuss.