Untoxicated Podcasts

Exploring the questions of alcoholic relationship recovery.

The first year of his permanent sobriety, Matt felt like shit. It wasn’t for lack of recovery effort. His pleasure neurotransmitters that had been hijacked by alcohol just took a year or so to adjust to his sobriety. Even after that year, Matt dealt with secondary addictions as he worked to understand the underlying causes of his alcoholism. A lot of people complain of a joyless recovery and transference of addiction. It is both common and baffling. In this episode, Sheri and Matt address it all.

If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Echoes of Recovery

When Sheri and Matt were seeking expert advise on restoring intimacy and growing closer together in their post-alcoholic marriage, they turned to the Emily’s: Dr. Emily Morse of the Sex with Emily podcast, and Dr. Emily Nagoski, author of the best selling book, Come as You Are. On this episode, Sheri and Matt share the core messages from both the Emily’s, and relate what they have learned to their relationship recovery work.

As promised in the episode, here is a link to Dr. Emily Nagoski’s website where you, our listener, can invite her to join Sheri and Matt on the Untoxicated Podcast.

If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Echoes of Recovery

Have you, or has someone you love, ever been absolutely determined to be done with alcohol in the morning, only to be drinking that very same evening? One of the major contributing factors to that alcohol-related whiplash is decision fatigue. On this episode, Sheri and Matt talk about the reasons drinking alcohol adds volume and complexity to our decision making leaving us incapable of making good decisions. Alcohol is its own self-fulfilling prophecy.

If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Echoes of Recovery

The popular misperception of an alcoholic marriage is that it always comes down to a frustrated wife trying to decide if she will divorce her alcoholic husband. As is the case with most things related to the disease of addiction, an alcoholic marriage is quite often a great deal more complicated than that. In this episode, Matt reads excerpts from an essay Liz wrote about the stormy year of alcohol, death, job loss, a car accident, depression, health issues, and emotional instability she and her husband are traversing – both independently and together. Liz adds color and details to the essay in a way only this thoughtful, insightful and brilliant woman can. She is making it out, and her story is an inspiration.

If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Echoes of Recovery

When Matt thought he most needed Sheri’s support and sympathy while he was in early sobriety, Sheri was detached and focused on her own healing and independence. It turns out, Sheri’s detachment might have saved the marriage. What the alcoholic needs, and what the loved one needs from the recovery process, are counterintuitive and seemingly at odds. That’s one of the reasons we describe alcoholism as a diabolical disease. But there is a way to navigate sobriety as individuals, and make the relationship thrive in the end.

If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Echoes of Recovery

Success stories are too rare when it comes to recovering a marriage from the ravages of alcoholism and the challenges of recovery. We are so pleased to have Karen on the podcast to share her discovery path to healing her alcoholic marriage, now three years into sobriety. Karen uses compassion and lived experience to tell her story and inspire others. One of her greatest strengths is finding resources that help in her process, and she talks with Sheri and Matt about one of her favorite books, Prodependence. This episode is full of hope and honesty.

If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Echoes of Recovery

The loved ones of alcoholics almost always experience gaslighting – the manipulative conversations alcoholics use to normalize excessive drinking. On this episode, Sheri talks about the impact of Matt’s gaslighting on her, and Matt provides an explanation for why gaslighting comes so naturally and is such a universal aspect of alcoholic relationships. They talk about the long-lasting effects of this manipulation – intentional or not. And the couple discusses the road back to healing and trust.

If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Echoes of Recovery

Worrying about stuff seems a common characteristic of high-functioning alcoholics. The object of concern can be work related, a family matter, or frankly, just about anything big or small. We use alcohol ineffectively to manage the worries. But this question remains: Does life stress create alcoholics, or does alcohol use create bad stress management skills and techniques? On this episode, Sheri and Matt discuss this chicken or egg situation. They share their personal experiences, and ponder the societal trend toward new forms of chemically induced life management.

If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Echoes of Recovery

We received so much feedback about “Ep99 – Seven Fourteen Twenty-One: Relapse“, that Sheri and Matt felt compelled to address it in this unplanned follow-up episode. Some listeners were surprised to learn that challenges linger in extended recovery. Others empathized with the continued struggle. Still others felt like Matt’s insecurities continue while Sheri continues to suffer from his gaslighting. In this “Part 2” episode, Sheri and Matt address all of it. And they discuss Matt’s theories that self-esteem is the opposite of addiction, and trust is the opposite of the chaos of an alcoholic relationship.

If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Echoes of Recovery

100! This is episode 100! What better way could there be to celebrate than by hosting the people the podcast is for, and who inspire the topics we discuss. For Ep100, Sheri and Matt welcome Jessica, Kim, Suzy, Karen, Nickie, Barbara, Haley and Suzanne from our Echoes of Recovery program. This expert panel discusses why a support network is crucial to the successful recovery of the loved ones of alcoholics. These eight guests are veteran members of Echoes, and they are an inspiration to Sheri and Matt to keep going and keep being vulnerable. We are not alone. We share a story, and a mission of healing.

If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Echoes of Recovery