Ep340 – Dual Diagnosis: What’s Behind the Alcohol?

Dual Diagnosis is a medical term for when someone experiences a substance use disorder and a co-occurring mental health concern. Sheri and Matt expand the definition to include behavioral addictions, talk about the impact of stigma and pathologizing, discuss Matt’s specific diagnoses, and share stories from the cases with which they have experience. Dual Diagnosis likely impacts the majority of alcoholics. This conversation can bring awareness and validation to drinkers and partners.

Please go to UntoxicatedSurvey.org to better understand the impact of alcohol and/or emotional abuse on you and your family. Whether you are the drinker or the partner, whether you feel a lack of emotional safety or don’t really know what that means, we can help you feel supported. Take the survey. You’ve got this, and we’ve got you.

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It Won’t Matter

Our latest essay from our Untoxicated blog: “It Won’t Matter”

I wish I could deliver a message to my younger self. Many messages, really, to many earlier versions of me. Like that the penis my college friends drew on my forehead with permanent marker when I passed out would not, in fact, impact the rest of my life. Or that leaving my sales-manager job in a steel company that was for sale upgrading to a steel company that later declared bankruptcy was not, actually, the stupidest move ever. Or even more recently, that the knee injury I suffered playing soccer last summer was not the end, and that I was not yet relegated to the chair workouts Instagram feels are age appropriate.

Those tips would have been useful. But in mid-March 2026, I am thinking about the advice I would give a late 20-teens version of me about Saint Patrick’s Day…

If you are ready to focus on what matters, as the drinker or the partner of a drinker, please take our brief survey at UntoxicatedSurvey.org so we can share resources, including a free ebook.

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Ep339 – Watch Your Mouth

Are you an alcoholic, or are you a gray-area drinker? Are you avoiding confrontation, or do you have topics that you might find benefits from addressing? Are you an emotional abuser, or are you too reactive? Word choice matters, and Matt has a habit of choosing the most stigmatized, direct, and toxic words. Sheri helps Matt consider nuance. Matt needs a lot of help.

Please go to UntoxicatedSurvey.org to better understand the impact of alcohol and/or emotional abuse on you and your family. Whether you are the drinker or the partner, whether you feel a lack of emotional safety or don’t really know what that means, we can help you feel supported. Take the survey. You’ve got this, and we’ve got you.

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The Family Scar

Our latest essay from our Untoxicated blog: “The Family Scar”

Before they served us our farewell dinner, our neighbors of twenty years, while enjoying the evening sun of newly saved daylight on their back deck, asked our youngest two boys what their fondest memories were of the house we are leaving behind.

I froze in a mini-panic. “The time Drunk Dad got so mad that he punched a framed picture spreading glass all over our bedroom.” “Listening to Mom and Dad whisper-fight well into the morning through the heating ducts.” Those were the traumatic memories that flooded my brain as I waited for our sons to speak…

If you are ready to work on getting comfortable with your scar, as the drinker or the partner of a drinker, please take our brief survey at UntoxicatedSurvey.org so we can share resources, including a free ebook.

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Ep338 – Relief

Sheri and Matt explain the relief that the partners of drinkers experience in different scenarios as relationship status and possibly drinking status change. Recovery isn’t about rekindled romance or a revived fairytale. For the partners, the ultimate goal is relief from chaos and trauma. And most drinkers don’t understand how important that nervous system relief truly is.

Please go to UntoxicatedSurvey.org to better understand the impact of alcohol and/or emotional abuse on you and your family. Whether you are the drinker or the partner, whether you feel a lack of emotional safety or don’t really know what that means, we can help you feel supported. Take the survey. You’ve got this, and we’ve got you.

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Evolution Series: Consequences of Confrontation

Our latest essay from the Evolution Series from our Untoxicated blog: Consequences of Confrontation

Confrontation has long been hard for me, and I have worked tirelessly to avoid it. My conflict avoidance is also probably one of the reasons that my marriage has survived. While I acknowledge that past, I am moving into a new version of the future…

If you are ready to pursue your own personal answers about having enough, and about the impact of alcohol on your life, either as the drinker or the partner, please take our survey so we can engage you where you are in your own discovery process.

UntoxicatedSurvey.org

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Ep337 – From Surviving to Thriving with Jen

This is one of the most extreme cases of an incredibly normal experience. What started for Jen as social drinking with a new boyfriend eventually built to emotional abuse, financial abuse, physical abuse, and narcissistic behavior years into marriage. Jen had to pull herself and her kids from danger, and start over personally and professionally. This is a relatable story on overdrive.

Please go to UntoxicatedSurvey.org to better understand the impact of alcohol and/or emotional abuse on you and your family. Whether you are the drinker or the partner, whether you feel a lack of emotional safety or don’t really know what that means, we can help you feel supported. Take the survey. You’ve got this, and we’ve got you.

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Enough

Our latest essay from our Untoxicated blog: Enough

Is having enough about getting more or needing less?

I was at a casual lunch meeting with six people and two eight-slice pizzas. I ate one slice of pepperoni and one slice of margherita. I was still hungry, and the pizza was really delicious, but you could not have force-fed me a third slice…

If you are ready to pursue your own personal answers about having enough, and about the impact of alcohol on your life, either as the drinker or the partner, please take our survey so we can engage you where you are in your own discovery process.

UntoxicatedSurvey.org

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Ep336 – Ask Lara

In this quarterly session with licensed clinical social worker and mental health therapist, Lara Hammock, Sheri and Matt ask Lara listener questions about trauma and triggers, reconnection after detachment, the recovery timeline, and moderation after alcoholism. Lara also gives feedback on relationship confrontation and Matt’s insecurities. The episode ends with a vulnerable conversation about mental health while navigating the Epstein scandal and tragedy.

Please check out Lara’s new YouTube channel @theIllustratingTherapist. To ask Lara a question for next quarter’s episode, email matt@SoberAndUnashamed.com with “Ask Lara” as the subject.

Please go to UntoxicatedSurvey.org to better understand the impact of alcohol and/or emotional abuse on you and your family. Whether you are the drinker or the partner, whether you feel a lack of emotional safety or don’t really know what that means, we can help you feel supported. Take the survey. You’ve got this, and we’ve got you.

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Sober and Unashamed: Shameful Awakening

New from Sober and Unashamed: “Shameful Awakening”

We hope you will engage. Please read and leave a comment about where you are in your process on our Sober and Unashamed website and blog here.

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