Untoxicated Podcast – Insecurity-Instinct-Evolve: Relationships in Recovery

Ep277 – “Freeze” as a Defense Mechanism

Nervous system activation is often described as one of these four reactions: fight, flight, freeze or fawn. Sheri used all four tools to protect herself in her marriage to Matt during and after his active alcoholism. On this episode, the couple talks about how Matt misinterpreted Sheri's reluctance to engage as a sign that she was waiting for his enlightened epiphanies. They also talk about steaming tomatoes and wind gusts in church. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Ep276 – Despair and Hopelessness of the Week Between

The week between the holidays carries with it a cascade of emotions for people in a relationship experiencing active addiction or recovery. Sheri and Matt talk about the baggage this one-of-a-kind week used to carry with it, and the relative calm of lasting recovery. They also talk about antiquated payment methods, and a history of New Year's Eve plans that will have you feeling good about your celebrations. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Ep275 – Self-Control and Detachment from Family at the Holidays

Is self-control detachment? Sheri and Matt might debate the definitions, but they agree on the value of controlling the controllables around family at the holiday season. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Ep274 – Spiritual Curiosity with David Bird

David Bird is a spiritual explorer with stories to tell about the hopelessness and lack of control of addiction, and the peace and freedom of knowing everything is going to be OK. Through major health scares and a variety of addictive substances, David has been through it all, and maintained humility despite so much interesting growth. If you are interested in engaging in conversations like this one with other people seeking the self-control of sobriety, please consider joining our SHOUT Sobriety program.

Ep273 – Is Sex All You Think About?

Do you say or hear this question in your relationship? Sheri and Matt break down how sex drive fluctuates in both a short-term and long-term way, and discuss the impacts of addiction and recovery on the fluctuation. They also talk about navigating the fluctuations with mutual respect. Sheri and Matt talk about the comment on Matt's new blog post, "I Might Be Getting Fired." If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Ep272 – No Longer Normalizing with Tess

Tess has experienced a lot of intolerable alcoholic behavior. But like so many of us, Tess was conditioned to accept the unacceptable, and now she is fighting her way back. Tess is an outstanding mother and great storyteller who blesses us with some really relatable and heartbreaking experiences. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Ep271 – The Emotional Safety Journal

Physical abuse and sexual abuse are more widely understood with societally agreed upon red lines that are not to be crossed. Emotional abuse, on the other hand, is less obvious and less universally understood. But it is every bit as dangerous, and that's why Matt has started keeping an Emotional Safety Journal. Listen to the undisputable benefits of the ESJ, and consider joining Matt in his daily ritual. Speaking of daily rituals, this episode has a lot of toilet talk. Consider yourself warned. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Ep270 – The TWFO Couple Paige and Matt Robinson

Paige and Matt Robinson have survived Matt's addiction to opiates and alcohol, and now they are doing a ton to help others, especially spouses, find their way out. Listen to how they managed the lies and hiding, and how they process resentments as their marriage thrives. To learn more about Paige and Matt and their work, please visit their website and check out their Till the Wheels Fall Off podcast, online community and recovery course for the spouses of people who have suffered from addiction. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Ep269 – When Behavior Deteriorates Faster than We can Lower Our Standards

Self-esteem building is critical to both the drinker and the loved ones in recovery from addiction. On this episode, Sheri and Matt explore the role deteriorating self-esteem plays in the spiral into addiction. They also talk about the time Sheri drank excessively to medicate her hatred of Fenway Park hotdogs, and Matt dismisses theater kids and musicians like an arrogant jock wanna be. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Ep268 – Trust and Detachment IRL

We simply cannot live without trust. Trust is foundational to human existence, and Sheri and Matt talk about how naive alcoholics are who expect trust to return with short-term sobriety. They also discuss a real-life example of using detachment to navigate the untrustworthy. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.