Ep95 – Is My Spouse’s Alcoholism My Fault?

There are a variety of reasons an alcoholic blames his drinking on his spouse. Matt should know. He consistently blamed his alcoholism on Sheri for all the different reasons. And now, he is here to say that the reasons are all bullshit. On this episode, Sheri and Matt discuss the causes of this most potent form of gaslighting, and why it is so dangerous and utterly ridiculous.

If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

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Ep94 – Be Careful…You Might get what You Wished For

On this episode, Sheri and Matt discuss the changes in mood and family involvement for Matt in sobriety compared to active alcoholism. Increased input and participation of an alcoholic in sobriety is a lot for the family to absorb. Unwanted advice, a compulsive need to share, and lots of opinions have made Matt a challenge to handle for the exact opposite of the reason he was a handful as a drinker.

If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Echoes of Recovery

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Ep93 – Vacations and Holidays in an Alcoholic Relationship

When Matt was actively drinking, Sheri had to deal with three unappealing characteristics of her alcoholic husband when on vacations or celebrating holidays: his moods were unpredictable, he was needy, and the alcohol accentuated his insecurities. There was nothing festive, and very little that was enjoyable, about vacationing with an alcoholic. Now, in significant sobriety, life continues for Sheri, while Matt is curious why she isn’t more enthusiastic about the improvement. On this episode, Sheri and Matt discuss one of the most significant disconnects between the ex-drinker and the loved one in an alcoholic relationship in recovery.

If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

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Ep92 – Progress and Laughter with Nickie and Josh

Nickie knew she and Josh had relationship problems. When he first declared himself an alcoholic, she couldn’t believe it. She didn’t want to even think about a drinking problem until they had their marriage on good terms (little did she know at the time that the alcohol was the cause of the relationship troubles). Josh’s friends told him he was fine, his coworkers kept inviting him to drink, and everything he knew about being a man told him alcohol after a hard day of work was an adult’s prerogative. But when the depths of the issue were revealed on a holiday eve, it changed Nickie and Josh’s lives forever. Now 18 months into recovery and discovery, we are grateful to have both Nickie and Josh here to tell, and laugh, about it.

If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

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Ep91 – Safety to Speak Your Truth

Rebuilding trust in an alcoholic relationship requires sobriety, and it requires time. There are no shortcuts, but there are things we can do to create a safe environment in which trust has a fighting chance to flourish. On this episode, Sheri and Matt discuss the things that held Matt back from creating a safe environment in his active alcoholism and his early sobriety, and why things are different now. The importance of this safe environment extends far beyond romantic relationships. The couple discusses the impact the change is having on their children as well.

If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

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Ep90 – Your Communication Problem is Really a Competition Problem with Abby Medcalf

Sheri and Matt welcome Dr. Abby Medcalf to the podcast. Abby is an author, a podcast host, a speaker, a psychologist, a recovery survivor, and has over 30 years of experience working with relationships and people in recovery. She tells Sheri and Matt why couples who think they have a communication problem almost always have a competition problem, and she explains why the person in the relationship in the most pain has to change first and give 100%. Abby’s enthusiasm and vibrant story-telling matches her experience and intelligence to make this a master-class level episode.

To learn more about Abby, or to check out her amazing  resources, go to her website.

If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Echoes of Recovery

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Ep89 – Trust Starts with Predictability

All the loved ones of alcoholics want is peace, stability and predictability. How do you think that meshes with the wildly swinging pendulum of euphoria and misery that we call active alcoholism? And when the loved ones express the need for peace, the alcoholics get their feelings hurt. In this episode, Sheri and Matt talk about the link between predictability in sobriety, and rebuilding trust in a marriage.

If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

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Ep88 – Surviving the Progressive Decline with Toby

Do you ever look at your spouse and wonder what they are thinking or how their drinking spiraled the way it did? Have you ever wanted to tell your story, but the shame and shyness prevents you from finding the words? If so, then this episode might be for you. Toby (husband of Jane from Ep54) explains his innocent yet insidious decline into the grasp of alcoholism. He also shares what he is learning about himself and his marriage on the way back out.

If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Echoes of Recovery

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Ep87 – Getting Unstuck when You’re Deep In It

People almost universally believe what they are going through is unique when they are deep in the trauma and stress of an alcoholic marriage. Sadly, being deep in it is tragically common. On this episode, Sheri and Matt discuss the signs they see, over and over again, that indicate a person is deep in it even when the sufferer is unsure of their predicament. They also discuss the best tools to get unstuck.

If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Echoes of Recovery

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Ep86 – Why are We Together?: The Subtle Discovery of Sobriety

Sheri took Mother’s Day off from recording this episode, so Matt spends a lot of time talking about her…in endearing terms. Our listeners will surely miss Sheri’s laugh, and miss resonating with her tears, but Matt tries to make up for that by explaining the love the couple has found in the subtlety of sobriety – a love that was unavailable when alcohol was impacting the relationship. We hope you’ll listen all the way through, because the juicy part, and the lesson they learned, is at the end of this one.

If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Echoes of Recovery

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