Blame the alcohol, or the alcoholism, but don’t blame the person. We say it all the time. But what if the blame isn’t just something that occurs once the addiction is firmly in place? What…
The only thing Matt knew about a connection between orgasms and addiction when he was in active alcoholism was that he sure liked to have sex when he was drinking. But now he has done…
What comes first, safety or connection? Can two married people be in two different relationships when it comes to trust and implied consent? Is there guilt inherent in detachment, and rejection inherent in sex without…
Sheri and Matt dive deep into Sheri’s favorite topic: intimacy. But this discussion might not be what you are expecting. They separate emotional intimacy from sex, and describe emotional intimacy as the ultimate vulnerability (complete…
There is a flow to the process of recovering a marriage from alcoholism. In this episode, Sheri and Matt talk about the universalisms found in the eight phases of relationship recovery. This is time consuming…
As a drinker, Matt’s goal for the marriage was for Sheri to agree with him on morals, politics, religion, finances, parenting, etc. Only now in sobriety, Matt is realizing that with the exception of morals,…
Pride, self-esteem, ego and confidence often get a bad rap in the traditional recovery community as leading to relapse. We believe the opposite is true, and that self-esteem is the single most important component to…
Nothing is more important to healthful, sustained recovery than staying in tune with the traumas of active alcoholism. It isn’t a good idea to wallow in misery, but as the seasons change and summer drinking…
Trust and alcoholism can’t coexist. Intimacy is impossible without trust and vulnerability. So, alcoholism and intimacy are mutually exclusive. If you are in an alcoholic relationship, something important is missing (but you already know that)….
As an active alcoholic, Matt put a lot of the blame for their dysfunctional marriage on Sheri. In early sobriety, he blamed himself for the overwhelming shame he felt. The whole time, Sheri was convinced…