Lasting sobriety and recovery from alcoholism requires both commitment and a plan, and the role of the partner in the recovery of the drinker is quite limited. On this episode, Sheri and Matt go into detail, and share lots of options, for what will, and will not, meet these two requirements leading to successful recovery.
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Sheri- you mentioned being detached to protect yourself and your kids. What was the reason you stayed in the marriage vs. leaving? Did you think that Matt would ever change permanently during that time?
I think it is something that helped me stay in the home for longer. The detachment allowed me to look at things in a removed way instead of taking things so personally. I didn’t know how it would play out but it did give me more of a clear head to figure out what the next steps would have been if Matt didn’t start seeing how the addiction has driven me away. I didn’t know if it would lead him to permanent sobriety. I certainly wasn’t aware that I was detaching or doing this with intention. This was just a result of the poor behavior and how the relationship had become for me. I did have a sliver of hope Matt would change his drinking patterns but I didn’t know what that would look like. We had conversations that drinking was an issue and it leaked into other areas of our relationship and self admittedly, his anxiety and depression were much worse than before and we both knew we just could continue the status quo. I wish I would have sought information about addiction and detachment sooner, but I don’t know if I could have done it effectively until I felt it. I hope this helps.