Seven women who have made the impossibly difficult choice to move on from alcoholism through divorce talk about the challenges and the triumphs of their own personal recoveries. Some had small children, some had grown children and some had no children at the time of divorce. In come cases, their ex-husbands are now sober. In some cases, their ex-husbands are still drinking. Tragically, one of the ex-husbands lost his life to this disease. And while their stories have many differences, all seven of these alcoholism warriors have one thing in common: they fought hard to find the power to choose a better outcome. As Barbara says early in the episode, “Sometimes the happy ending is the divorce.” That statement turns our societal messaging on its head. That statement is also very true, and these seven stories prove it.
Sheri and Matt start the episode by answering a listener’s question Do you want to ask the couple something too? if so, send your question to [email protected].
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My heart goes out to all the women in this podcast who made the difficult decision to leave their marriages. I was especially interested to hear from Barbara again. Her story is somewhat similar to mine, although I never donated part of my liver to my late husband, also named Todd. To learn that Barbara’s Todd ultimately passed away from his disease hit me hard. I too wasn’t there for my Todd during his two-year downward spiral following our separation. We were also separated by a 17-hour plane journey and a Covid border closing. We did have intermittent contact and I was aware of his fragile mental state and various hospitalizations. I so wanted to be with him to comfort him, the man I still loved with all my heart. I thought if I was there maybe, just maybe, he would want to fight for us, although he didn’t fight for us before I left. We had a wonderful life together for 24 years but he threw it away. I have yet to fully process the guilt and regret I carry, but I am reminded by Todd’s parents (he cut ties with everyone else) that there was nothing I could have done to change the trajectory of Todd’s disease. We can’t force someone to accept treatment. We can’t force someone to accept love over death.
Thank you, Barbara, for sharing your story. Your voice does matter and I look forward to reading your memoir. Thank you, Matt and Sheri, for giving me this space to write a bit about my journey.
Thank you for trusting us enough to share, Shannon! We are sorry that your story resonates with what you hear on the podcast, but we thank you for listening and responding. You are welcome to join us in Echoes of Recovery for more connection.