Ep9 – Sheri’s Story: Matt’s Wife on an Alcoholic Marriage

May 6, 2019

I’ve talked and written extensively about my relationship with my wife. Now it is her turn to talk. Hear about the damage done to our marriage as we suffered decades of alcoholism and emerged clinging to survival. This is the most emotional and raw episode we’ve ever recorded. Hear what an alcoholic marriage is all about.

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8 comments on “Ep9 – Sheri’s Story: Matt’s Wife on an Alcoholic Marriage

  1. Danielle Haselip May 8, 2019

    WOW!!!!! Thank you SO much for sharing….I shed quite a few tears during your podcast…because, I was the Matt in the story.and my husband and children were the Sherri…although, my husband drank too and often heavily right alongside me…I was the cruel,mean,demeaning ,hurtful jerk.and my kids were older than yours….my husband would often call my family reaching out for help….and actually my 2nd marriage was bad involving alcohol as well…but reversed, my husband at the time was more of the alcohol and the mean one verbally and physically…which eventually floated over to me.and I became the same!! I REALLY appreciate you both sharing your experiences…I’ve now been sober,completely for over 27 months,without 1 fail….although as time goes on…it definitely doesnt get easier…the thought of having a drink or the craving…..BUT hearing your story was a Real reminder,of the pain I caused my family AND myself during my alcoholic days,which was probabaly 10-15 yrs.of course like Matt,I started out as a “functional alcoholic”,until over time…I wasnt fooling anyone anymore,but was in full blown DENIAL…the last 3-5 yrs before my sobriety were BAD!!! Anyway, again I Thank you two for sharing, and I’m thinking of sharing your podcast at our ladies 12 step “celebrate recovery” meeting.

    • I always love hearing from you, Danielle! I think you hit that nail on the head when you said you view this as a reminder of how bad it was. Without reminders, we forget the past and are doomed to repeat it. I’ll probably listen to this from time to time for that very same reason. Thanks for your comment!

  2. Elizabeth May 8, 2019

    You two are still together because both of you are worth it! You are both brave and honest and generous with each other and with your own selves. It is the belief that there is a “good person” in Matt that Sherry speaks of at the end that characterizes the mutual worthiness. And I’ll tell Sherry, at least, that I, another woman who married an alcoholic, that she would play hell trying to find a guy who is as good a person as Matt is out there in the “open market.” You are each other’s equal in the brains and soul and heart and courage department, and you are forging something few people experience in their life. Thanks to both of you for your openness.

    • Thank you, Elizabeth. I’ve got to tell you, Sheri’s comments at the end of the episode took me by surprise, but they sure were nice to hear. Thanks for listening, and thanks for making us feel like we are on the right path!

  3. Michael Young May 8, 2019

    Well done, raw with emotion and terribly realistic. Matt, I thought you did a good job drawing conversation out from Sheri. She was in your face real with emotion and feeling. It seemed to me that you are farther along in the healing process than she. Key is you both appeared very honest and committed to healing. I’ll say a prayer for both of you for continued healing.

    • That is right, Mike, that I am a little further into recovery. I think that’s the nature of a marriage with one alcoholic spouse. Before she can recover, she has to trust that I’m not going to start drinking again. That extra step she has that I don’t takes time. Thanks for you feedback my friend!

  4. I don’t even remember how i stumbled on to your work today Matt (had never heard of you)… and after listening to this full podcast just now – am wondering if i’m glad i did, or not (kidding – i loved it).
    I’ve been a high function alki for awhile, i guess. I moderate. Make rules. Don’t F up very often. And i guess believe there’s a chance i could get my shit together for good (i’m moderating now again)… -hoping i won’t have to stop for good. No one’s ever heard that before…
    Sheri is a champion. I cannot believe i’m writing this now, and it’s due to her last emotions about knowing you’ve got too much good in you. Geeezus is that authentic and beautiful. Thank you.

    • Yeah, Tim. That’s my favorite part, too. It was authentic and completely unexpected to me when she said it. I’ve actually listened to that part over and over.
      It sounds to me like you’re right where I was three years ago. It also sounds like you’re not sure what you’re going to do. I’ll tell you this: sobriety isn’t all sunshine and roses. It’s really hard, but it is authentic. And it saved my marriage and kept my kids from being ashamed of me. I guess I don’t care how hard I is as long as I have that stuff. Good luck, and thanks for listening.

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