Buy Our Book: soberevolution

We are Sheri and Matt Salis, and our marriage survived active alcoholism. We were shocked to find our relationship in even more trouble in recovery because of the pain, lack of trust and years of resentment that sobriety exposed. But we are making it work, and we are sharing our painful story with the millions of alcoholic couples dealing with both active alcoholism, and also the challenges of recovery.

  • Addiction
  • Alcohol
  • Relationship
  • Sex

Ep57 – Kate Flourishing in the Truth

Sheri and Matt are joined on this episode by a fellow survivor of an alcoholic marriage, their good friend and Denver neighbor, Kate. Just like Sheri, Kate endured years of gaslighting, denial and progressively deteriorating behavior. The three discuss the impact on the kids even when they think they are doing their best to protect the little ones from the trauma. Kate shares her feelings of being stuck without options, and she talks about the isolation of falling out of love with her husband. She explains her turning point and ultimate decision to leave the destructive marriage and find health and healing for herself and her kids. Kate ends the podcast with some great resources and advice for women in this same incredibly common situation. If you are the loved one of an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program. Echoes of Recovery
  • Alcohol
  • Relationship

Ep56 – Our Wedding: Making the Trauma Typical

Sheri and Matt tell the story of the trauma of their wedding. Devastating and heartbreaking? Yes. Unusual? Sadly, no. It was such a shameful event that this is only the second time the couple has shared the story publicly, the first being in their new book, soberevolution: Evolve into Sobriety and Recover Your Alcoholic Marriage. This episode is emotional. The tears come from the sadness of lost potential, and also how ridiculously common the events that took place just before the couple's wedding and on through the reception truly are. It is their story, but it is probably your story, too. If you are the loved one of an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program. Echoes of Recovery
  • Addiction
  • Alcohol
  • Relationship

Ep55 – The 2 Keys to Ending the Alcoholism Epidemic

Being a part of the alcoholism recovery community is all about putting out fires that are already started. That's important, but that's not what this conversation is about. In this episode, Sheri and Matt talk about preventing the fires from starting - they discuss the two things we need to do as a society and culture to cure the epidemic of alcoholism that afflicts more people than suffer from cancer and kills way more than three million people a year. We need to tie the resulting damage to alcohol, and we need to open up the dialogue. They share a joke about how it is easier to come out as gay than it is to come out alcoholic, and Matt reveals his sensitivity to making people angry who want to keep their private lives private. Oh, and they share that their new book is the Amazon #1 New Release in Alcoholism Recovery, and is available at soberevolution.org. If you are the loved one of an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program. Echoes of Recovery
  • Addiction
  • Alcohol
  • Relationship

Ep54 – Jane’s Pain and Anger from Being In It

If you've listened to the Untoxicated Podcast before, you know Sheri's and Matt's story is not unique, because you are probably in the middle of a similar trauma. Still, experiencing alcoholism, as the drinker or as the loved one, is a tremendously isolating and lonely place to be. To help you feel less alone, Sheri and Matt invited Jane to share her pain and anger on this episode. Jane talks about how frustrating it is to be in the middle of it and find resources that resonate. There is clinical advice from people who learned about surviving addiction from books and studies. There are people that look back and tell their stories from the past years after they have processed and moved on. But no one is talking about it while they are in it. Until now. Jane is talking, and her story is as real and raw as it is heartfelt and timely. If you are the loved one of an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program. Echoes of Recovery
  • Addiction
  • Recovery
  • Relationship

Ep53 – Inspiration from Matt’s Mediocrity

Listeners and readers often share that they can't imagine their alcoholic spouses reaching the level of clarity that Matt and Sheri share on this podcast. Matt is nothing special, and his mediocrity should inspire others to believe an enlightened recovery from alcoholism is possible. In this episode, Sheri and Matt discuss the heaviness that penetrates everything. Matt runs through his lack-luster life accomplishments, and Sheri rethinks her life choices. They try to lighten the mood and bring reality to the societal burden alcoholism has become. Sheri's and Matt's new book, soberevolution: Evolve into Sobriety and Recover Your Alcoholic Marriage is available on Amazon for pre-order. Join the book launch team and receive an advance copy pdf version now. Join the soberevolution Book Launch Team
  • Addiction
  • Alcohol
  • Relationship

Ep52 – A Message for Your Alcoholic Partner

As an active alcoholic, Matt thought all of his attempts to control his drinking, his pontifications about how it would be different this time, and his complaints about how bad he felt after a binge, were of interest to Sheri. They were not. In fact, over time, they drove a wedge of resentment into the marriage that would take years to extract. Sobriety didn't fix anything. When the alcohol was gone, the problems became more obvious. In this episode, Matt and Sheri talk directly to the alcoholics and try to deliver a potentially marriage-saving message. It's not her fault. She's not just an intolerant bitch. It's the alcohol. It's you. If you are going to save the marriage, you're going to have to come to grips with some things. Our new book, soberevolution: Evolve into Sobriety and Recover Your Alcoholic Marriage is available on Amazon for pre-order. Join our book launch team and receive an advance copy pdf version now. Join the soberevolution Book Launch Team
  • Addiction
  • Alcohol
  • Relationship

Ep51 – How Sheri’s Cold Detachment Contributed to Matt’s Sobriety

After a decade of developing disdain for her alcoholic husband, the disease transformed Sheri into a bit of bitch. And now, looking back, no one is happier about the bitchiness than Matt. Sheri and Matt talk about the internal pain that Matt required in order to finally make it over the hump to permanent sobriety. The alcohol-induced depression and anxiety were debilitating, but the extremely cold shoulder from his wife was painful as well. And it was a major contributing factor in his eventual recovery. Sheri set boundaries and detached before she knew what either of those terms meant. We hope our story can speed along the progress of your story. Our new book, soberevolution: Evolve into Sobriety and Recover Your Alcoholic Marriage is available on Amazon for Kindle pre-order. Join our book launch team and receive an advance copy pdf version now. Join the soberevolution Book Launch Team
  • Addiction
  • Alcohol
  • Recovery

Ep50 – The Raw, Naked Truth about Socializing Sober

Socializing sober is not just a challenge for alcoholics in recovery. Everyone impacted by this disease has to find a groove in a society that depends on alcohol for all social occasions. In this episode, Matt complains about stinky beer breath while Sheri glares in disbelief that he has the nerve to verbalize such a complaint from the same hole that used to ruminate in stinky beer breath. Matt also makes a regrettable comment about how with a world full of men like him, he's surprised every woman isn't a lesbian. It isn't Matt's best day, but still, the truth about socializing sober in a booze-soaked world is raw and enlightening. It just proves that we, as a culture, have a long way to go. If you are the loved one of an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program. Echoes of Recovery
  • Addiction
  • Alcohol
  • Recovery
  • Relationship

Ep49 – Getting from Here to the Relationship You Want

Sobriety doesn't fix anything, but it is a prerequisite for recovery from an alcoholic marriage. Once we realize we have removed alcohol, and our relationship is getting worse, we've got a lot of work to do. And the journey is a bitch. On this episode, Sheri and Matt talk about how much scarier recovery is than addiction, learning to listen to our instincts, moving past insecurities and why trust isn't just something you push through and make yourself feel. This one is deep, and we hope our stumbling and fumbling will make the task of recovery a little smoother for the relationships just getting started on the journey. Sheri also gives Matt a double-barrel salute, and we talk about recovery words Matt hates (like recovery), so it's not all super heavy. If you are the loved one of an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program. Echoes of Recovery
  • Addiction
  • Alcohol
  • Relationship

Ep48 – Fairytale: When Relationship Recovery Feels Out of Reach

We asked a group of loved ones of alcoholics to read a chapter of our book, soberevolution, that will be released on September 23rd. The chapter is titled "Healing Wounds," and it is about working through the resentments of an alcoholic marriage, dealing with damage done to the kids, rebuilding trust and the important role of patience. The focus group described the chapter as a fairytale. They did not feel like their alcoholic relationships could ever reach the goal of repair. In this episode, Sheri and Matt talk about the long and arduous process of making the fairytale a reality. We talk about how emotionally immature I was, and how far away I was from understanding what was happening to our marriage, before I was in long-term sobriety. Our story is not an impossible fairytale, but it does require work and patience. If you are the loved one of an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program. Echoes of Recovery
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