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We are Sheri and Matt Salis, and our marriage survived active alcoholism. We were shocked to find our relationship in even more trouble in recovery because of the pain, lack of trust and years of resentment that sobriety exposed. But we are making it work, and we are sharing our painful story with the millions of alcoholic couples dealing with both active alcoholism, and also the challenges of recovery.

Ep247 – Vulnerability Rewarded with Kathy and Mike

If you are searching for hope and inspiration, please listen to the story of Kathy and Mike Mazzerina from the Defining You podcast and facebook page. By owning their story of addiction and redemption, Kathy and Mike are inspiring others to find recovery and growth. But they are doing something else, too. Through their vulnerability, and encouraging each other to keep showing up, they are rebuilding trust in their relationship at a dramatically accelerated pace. If you are or were the partner of an alcoholic, please check out our Alcoholic Intimacy Survey. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Ep246 – Detachment is a Result, Not a Tactic

Detachment is not necessarily something you do, as people often assume. Detachment is a natural result of living in hyper-vigilance, in nervous system activation for long periods of time. On this episode, Sheri and Matt talk about fight, flight, freeze and fawn, and how being constantly activated leads to nervous system overwhelm. That's where detachment lives. If you would like to learn more about our SHOUT Sobriety program for high functioning alcoholics seeking sobriety, or our Echoes of Recovery program for the loved ones of alcoholics, please join us for a free, no-strings-attached information and Q&A session Wednesday, June 5th at 10:30am MDT. To request the ZOOM link, please send an email to [email protected].

Ep245 – Emotional Abuse with Paul Colaianni

Everyone knows what physical abuse is, and it is clearly not acceptable in modern relationships. What makes emotional abuse so sinister is that it is often justified by perpetrators in disbelief and hard to identify by conditioned victims. On this episode, Sheri and Matt welcome Paul Colaianni - behavior and relationship coach, and host of The Love and Abuse Podcast. Paul shares the issues that often lead to emotional abuse, ways to understand if you are a victim or abuser, and actions you can take to change patterns and behaviors. Plus, Paul has a really cool radio voice that makes his message soothing to the ears. If you would like to learn more about our SHOUT Sobriety program for high functioning alcoholics seeking sobriety, or our Echoes of Recovery program for the loved ones of alcoholics, please join us for a free, no-strings-attached information and Q&A session Wednesday, June 5th at 10:30am MDT. To request the ZOOM link, please send an email to [email protected].

Ep244 – Vulnerability Makes Us Feel Normal

Vulnerability and authenticity are hard when you have experienced alcoholism first or second hand, but they are also essential to recovery and discovery. Maybe you have done a lot of listening and reading, but have protected your secret. Maybe you think joining our SHOUT Sobriety or Echoes of Recovery groups are your only next step, and you are trying to build up the courage. There is something else you can do - a way to tiptoe into the vulnerability waters. Curious? Please listen. If you are or were the partner of an alcoholic, please check out our Alcoholic Intimacy Survey. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Ep243 – Staying in the Relationship Roundtable, Part 2

Listen to Teaubrian, Rich and Ben discuss their evolution of thinking and experiences in both personal and relationship recovery after beating alcoholism. This conversation is all about authenticity and awareness of themselves and the people around them. It's also about building something new. If you are or were the partner of an alcoholic, please check out our Alcoholic Intimacy Survey. If you are a high-functioning alcoholic seeking sobriety, awareness and authenticity, we invite you to check out our SHOUT Sobriety program.

Ep242 – Staying in the Relationship Roundtable, Part 1

Listen to Jane, Karen, Nickie, Lori and Nicole describe their decision making and experiences staying in their marriages as they recover from the alcoholism of their partners. This episode is about individual growth and discovery just as much as it is about the changes in their relationships. If you are or were the partner of an alcoholic, please check out our Alcoholic Intimacy Survey. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Ep241 – Unrespected Advice

After the chaos and trauma of active alcoholism, loved ones naturally lose respect for their drinkers. Advice from the recovering alcoholic is often not welcome, and can do serious damage to the relationship. On this episode, Sheri and Matt relate their personal experience with both unwanted advice, and regained respect. If you are or were the partner of an alcoholic, please check out our Alcoholic Intimacy Survey. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Ep240 – Be Nice

During Matt's active addiction, Sheri and Matt had to try to run communication through a variety of contrived filters in order to be nice to each other. On this episode, the couple talks about the process they went through to get from artificial and occasional bouts of niceness to a genuine and consistent pattern of being nice. As is so often the case, sobriety is just the prerequisite. If you are or were the partner of an alcoholic, please check out our Alcoholic Intimacy Survey. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Ep239 – Impact of Alcoholism on Sex and Intimacy Roundtable

There are two things that can happen to sex and intimacy in a relationships suffering through alcoholism. On this episode, Sheri and Matt welcome Nikki, Rene and Nicole who share their experiences with both traumatizing outcomes. If you are or were the partner of an alcoholic, please check out our Alcoholic Intimacy Survey. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Ep238 – Origins of Anxiety

The chaos and trauma of active addiction is obvious. But what about before we acknowledge alcoholism? What about before we cross that invisible line? The efforts we make to manipulate our partners seem simple, even helpful, on the surface. But the partners of alcoholics often suffer from anxiety caused by not feeling worthy. When partners eventually lose respect for their alcoholic, they often find respect for themselves. If you are or were the partner of an alcoholic, please check out our Alcoholic Intimacy Survey. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.
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