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We are Sheri and Matt Salis, and our marriage survived active alcoholism. We were shocked to find our relationship in even more trouble in recovery because of the pain, lack of trust and years of resentment that sobriety exposed. But we are making it work, and we are sharing our painful story with the millions of alcoholic couples dealing with both active alcoholism, and also the challenges of recovery.

  • Addiction
  • Alcohol
  • Recovery
  • Relationship

Ep144 – Pride Over Shame

Pride, self-esteem, ego and confidence often get a bad rap in the traditional recovery community as leading to relapse. We believe the opposite is true, and that self-esteem is the single most important component to long-term sobriety. But that's not what this episode is about. Sheri and Matt talk about the critical importance of self-esteem to the healing and recovery of the spouses and other loved ones of alcoholic. At the end of the episode, Matt explains why Sheri's growing self-esteem is so important to him. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.
  • Addiction
  • Evolution Series

Ep143 – Write Your Story for Us All

We are thrilled to announce the "Evolution Series" as part of our Sober and Unashamed website and blog. Writing our stories of the impact of alcohol on our lives and families is very therapeutic, and we invite you to write and submit your story for the potential publication to our audience of readers. Not only will you feel the power of vulnerability rewarded, but you will help so many others who will relate to your story and know they are not alone. Don't just listen or read about our mission. Join us and be a part of the solution. To submit your story to the "Evolution Series," send your writing to matt@SoberAndUnashamed.com. Share your story for the benefit of us all!
  • Addiction
  • Alcohol
  • Recovery
  • Relationship

Ep142 – Consequences with Allison

Everyone understands the consequences associated cigarette smoking (lung cancer) or a poor diet heavy on added sugar and fat (diabetes and obesity). Those consequences are directly correlated and societally accepted. When it comes to alcohol, in our culture, we ignore the inevitable consequences. Who better to welcome to a conversation like this than the self-described "queen of consequences?" Allison joins Sheri and Matt on this episode, and they break down the consequences (legal, financial, relational and mental health) she faced as her drinking spiralled out of control. If you are a high-functioning alcoholic seeking sobriety, we invite you to join us in SHOUT Sobriety. Allison is a big fan of our program, and we hope you'll check it out for yourself!
  • Addiction
  • Alcohol
  • Family
  • Sex

Ep141 – Trauma of Summer Holidays and Vacations

Nothing is more important to healthful, sustained recovery than staying in tune with the traumas of active alcoholism. It isn't a good idea to wallow in misery, but as the seasons change and summer drinking is surrounding us, it is a great idea to remind ourselves of why sobriety is the best choice for us personally, and for our families. On this episode, Sheri and Matt recall Matt's summer drinking experiences including a particularly emotional recollection of a drive to the airport with a car full of kids toward the end of the conversation. Don't ignore the red flags. Change your narrative right now, this summer. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.
  • Addiction
  • Alcohol
  • Family
  • Teens

Ep140 – Ending Our Societal Love Affair with Alcohol

What are the most impactful steps we can take to decrease the massive amount of abusive drinking that is condoned in our culture? Prohibition didn't work, but are there other legal, taxation, media/marketing or educational tactics we can employ to remove boozing from it's place as the national pastime? Sheri and Matt discuss all of the tactics, as well as the underlying causes that really deserve our attention. And there is good news to celebrate in present and future trends. Sheri also tells Matt why she wants to punch him in the throat. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.
  • Addiction
  • Alcohol
  • Recovery
  • Relationship

Ep139 – Staying Well with Lori

The decision to stay or to go when in an alcoholic relationship seems to rely on the ability of the drinker to find sobriety. Because humans can't change other people, it feels like the spouse has no power. But Lori is here to explain a third option to staying in misery, or divorcing. Lori explains that she learned how to "stay well" in her formerly destructive marriage. She explains the concepts she learned from author, speaker, licenced clinical social worker and relationship coach, Leslie Vernick. Now Lori's recovery is thriving, and her marriage has benefited as well. This is not a paid endorsement. This is someone sharing a resource for the loved ones of alcoholics because it changed her life. Here is a link to Leslie Vernick's website. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.
  • Addiction
  • Alcohol
  • Relationship

Ep138 – Looking Back but Moving Forward with Bridget

Bridget stayed with her husband as his drinking destroyed his health and their marriage. The lies, the hiding and the gaslighting is something with which so many loved ones of alcoholics are familiar. She made the impossibly hard but healthy decision to move on and live the life they had planned to live together, alone. Bridget describes in emotional detail how she loved her husband, the man she married. But the man alcohol transformed him into is not the man she loved. At the end of the episode, she also surprises Matt with her advice for mothers of young children who are in similar situations. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.
  • Addiction
  • Alcohol
  • Family

Ep137 – When Unacceptable Behavior is Normalized

The indicators of the increase in bad behavior are everywhere. The airline industry, big city crime statistics, and alcohol industry consumption numbers all correlate to paint a concerning picture of the aftermath of COVID isolation. No matter how much we try to compartmentalize and ignore, the truth is staring us in the face. In this episode, Sheri and Matt talk about the increase in unacceptable behavior, and what we can do when we see it in our families and among our friends. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.
  • Addiction
  • Alcohol
  • Recovery
  • Relationship

Ep136 – Married to Addiction with Julie Sanford

Julie Sanford hosts the Married to Addiction podcast, and she joins Sheri and Matt to discuss the similarities and differences in both their recovery stories, and also their outreach to the loved ones of alcoholics. On this episode, they discuss the signs that indicate that the loved ones need recovery, getting your needs met as the wife of an alcoholic, the mantras associated with codependency, self-care for someone who is deep in the chaos of addiction, and what you can do if your alcoholic doesn't support your need to get help. Matt admires Julie's "radio voice," and Sheri resonates with a lot of Julie's experiences. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.
  • Addiction
  • Alcohol
  • Recovery
  • Relationship

Ep135 – Denial: Delaying the Inevitable

Matt spent ten years working himself through the cycle of active alcoholism into permanent sobriety. What could have been accomplished in a year, took Matt a decade to process. Why the delay? Denial. Both Sheri and Matt were in denial about the demon they faced. In this episode, they discuss their denial in detail in the hopes that others can move through the process of finding recovery faster than they did. The episode ends with an epically bad joke the sends Sheri scurrying from the room. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.
Untoxicated Podcast © 2020