We are Sheri and Matt Salis, and our marriage survived active alcoholism. We were shocked to find our relationship in even more trouble in recovery because of the pain, lack of trust and years of resentment that sobriety exposed. But we are making it work, and we are sharing our painful story with the millions of alcoholic couples dealing with both active alcoholism, and also the challenges of recovery.

  • Recovery
  • Relationship

Ep39 – Instinct Over Insecurity: When Pushing It Down Stops Working

Sheri and Matt talk about the evolving process of learning to trust instincts. The greatest challenge to listening to what she knows to be true are the lingering alcoholic relationship insecurities. We share the "lightbulb moment" from our Echoes of Recovery program which provides connection for the loved ones of alcoholics. The sharing and communication gives a validation of instincts not available anywhere else in the recovery world. Echoes of Recovery is loved ones of alcoholics helping other loved ones of alcoholics to heal and thrive, and it's a beautiful thing. For more information, or to enroll, check us out at: EchoesOfRecovery.com
  • Addiction
  • Recovery
  • Relationship

Ep38 – It Turns Out My Wife’s Not a Bitch

I had a huge ego as an active alcoholic. I thought I was great. My wife, Sheri, found me repulsive and stupid, and she felt betrayed by my love of alcohol. When I stopped drinking, Sheri's feelings and attitude did not automatically change. I was sober and our relationship continued to deteriorate. I thought I was married to a bitch. In this episode, Matt and Sheri talk about my awakening - my realization that our relationship problems were not all her fault. The challenge of blaming the disease, and having patience in recovery, is what trips up most relationships in recovery, resulting in so many divorces. If you are the loved on of an alcoholic, we encourage you to check out our Echoes of Recovery program where we offer connection and understanding of our shared stories. You are not a bitch, and we know it. Checks us out at: EchoesOfRecovery.com
  • Addiction
  • Alcohol
  • Recovery
  • Relationship

Ep37 – It’s Sheri’s Turn: A Sense of Recovery Urgency

Active alcoholism is selfish, but everyone knows that. Early sobriety is equally selfish, but this time, for a good reason. For Matt and Sheri, our relationship has long been about prioritizing Matt's needs while Sheri holds it all together. But the pressure has been building through it all, and without a recovery plan of her own, no amount of time heals the wounds. So now, it is Sheri's turn to be priority number one in the relationship and in her recovery.
  • Recovery
  • Relationship

Ep36 – Sheri’s Lingering Fears from the Trauma of Alcoholism

Three years into recovery from Matt's alcoholism, fearful anticipation lingers for Sheri. In this episode, we discuss the worry and anxiety that Sheri feels when bringing up even the most innocent and uncontroversial of topics, and we talk about how Matt is less judgemental than he was as an arrogant alcoholic. We also laugh about fake poop and dirty underwear.
  • Addiction
  • Recovery
  • Relationship

Ep35 – Echoes of Recovery: Healing for the Loved Ones of Alcoholics

One of the most widely accepted misperceptions about alcohol addiction is that the drinkers are the only people facing enormous challenges in recovery. The fact is that the loved ones of alcoholics have just as much work to do to heal, and the stigma associated with codependency makes the work just as challenging. In this episode, Sheri and Matt introduce our new Echoes of Recovery program for the loved ones of alcoholics. We discuss what we offer to the millions of effected loved ones, and we talk about what we hope to gain in our recoveries by facilitating this program. We hope you'll listen. If you'd like to read more about Echoes of Recovery, or if you'd like to enroll, please check out Echoes of Recovery.
  • Addiction
  • Alcohol

Ep34 – Pandemic Policy Fuels Epic Liquor Store Lines

On our first remotely recorded episode due to the COVID-19 pandemic, Matt and Debbie Scheer discuss the public policy decision that threw Denver into chaos. The mayor announced that liquor stores and marijuana dispensaries were not essential, and would close the following day. That order lasted about an hour due to the chaos it caused. Lines wrapped around blocks as people scrambled to get their booze before their access was cut off. It would be funny if not so damn sad, for a number of reasons that Debbie and Matt discuss.
  • Addiction
  • Alcohol

Ep33 – Quarantine and Isolation – Alcohol will Only Make it Worse

While the COVID-19 pandemic is nothing like the terrorist attack on America we suffered during 9/11, it does isolate and confine us in a similar way. Back then, 19 years ago, I sat on the couch, watched cable news, drank massive amounts of vodka and sulked. I can't help but imagine that millions of drinkers will have the impulse to do the same thing now as we hunker down and watch the news about the spread of the disease and associated closings and cancelations. On this episode of the Untoxicated Podcast, that's what Sheri and I talk about. Avoid the temptation, it will only make you feel worse.
  • Alcohol
  • Sex

Ep32 – Sex Miseducation: The Lasting Impact

Was your middle school sex ed experience as shrouded in shameful secrecy and as incomplete as ours? In this episode, Matt and Debbie talk about the lasting negative impact of our society's refusal to talk openly and honestly about one the most potentially beautiful and totally natural human acts. It isn't just about fumbling awkwardness. When we don't talk about sex, fulfilment, satisfaction, pride, love and intimacy are nearly impossible. Doing it in sobriety creates a whole new set of challenges that we avoided for years by drinking through our inhibitions.
  • Addiction
  • Relationship

EP31 – The Destruction of Intimacy in our Alcoholic Marriage

Sheri and Matt dive deeper than ever before into the intimate details of our alcoholic marriage. Our relationship started in a very typical manner - we mixed booze and romance and lowered all inhibitions. As life pressure built from work stress and raising children, our intimacy morphed from typical to tragic, and love was squeezed out of our physical connection. Now, in recovery from alcoholism, we are trying to pick up the pieces and restore trust and intimacy from the rubble of our alcoholic marriage. Looking back is hard. Moving forward is harder still.
  • Alcohol
  • Relationship

Ep30 – Humor is the Ultimate Icebreaker with Debbie Scheer

The damage done by alcohol is no laughing matter, but if we lighten up and loosen up, honest, healing conversation often follows. No one knows more about using humor as the ultimate icebreaker when discussing difficult subjects than my friend Debbie Scheer. Debbie is a professional speaker, she is the mother of two young boys and she is living her best life alcohol free. She uses humor to delve into the issues no one is otherwise willing to talk about. This is the first of (hopefully) many times Debbie joins me on the Untoxicated Podcast, because it is time to take the conversation to the next level. We are trying to discuss such difficult issues, and I'm eager to welcome Debbie's magnificent skills to talk about the untalkable. Check out Debbie's website, and please let me know if you'd like to hear more from Debbie Scheer!
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