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We are Sheri and Matt Salis, and our marriage survived active alcoholism. We were shocked to find our relationship in even more trouble in recovery because of the pain, lack of trust and years of resentment that sobriety exposed. But we are making it work, and we are sharing our painful story with the millions of alcoholic couples dealing with both active alcoholism, and also the challenges of recovery.

  • Addiction
  • Alcohol

Ep166 – When Motivation Morphs into Addiction

Do you find satisfaction in an accomplishment, or does an achievement just drive you to keep pushing forward? If you, like Matt, relate to the latter, watch out! You just might be on a path toward addiction. On this episode, Sheri and Matt take a listener's question, and explain how motivation contributed to Matt's high-functioning alcoholism. Do you want to ask Sheri and Matt a question too? if so, send your question to matt@SoberAndUnashamed.com. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.
  • Abuse
  • Addiction
  • Alcohol

Ep165 – The Lingering Voices of Trauma and Abuse with Hannah

Hannah has been through a lot, and now she is recovering from her traumatic and abusive experience with the alcoholism of her husband. Sheri and Matt are honored to call her a dear friend, and they feel her pain and celebrate her growth on this very difficult episode. Hannah's story is a cautionary tale of the progressive nature of alcoholism, and how bad it can get. Listen to how her love for her children was the ultimate factor in her finding the freedom they all deserve. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.
  • Addiction
  • Alcohol
  • Family
  • Teens

Ep164 – Communication Mistakes with Our Kids and Why We Keep Trying

At the heart of all relationship struggles we will find communication challenges. On this episode, Sheri and Matt recall all the communication mistakes they have made with their kids. Some of it was a direct result of alcoholism. Some mistakes were made naively as they navigated uncharted territory. Some mistakes continue (especially from Matt) even though they now know better. One thing is for sure - not communicating with kids who have experienced alcoholism is not a healthy option. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.
  • Addiction
  • Alcohol
  • Recovery
  • Relationship

Ep163 – Scaring Up some Holiday Peace and Joy

Sheri and Matt have had some awful alcoholic Halloween experiences. Last year, they recapped the trauma on Ep111. This year, the couple is talking about the joy and laughter they are experiencing on their sixth consecutive sober Halloween month (yes, Matt celebrates Halloween for a whole month). Do you think sobriety is boring? Well, after you listen to this, you might not change your mind. But you'll definitely think twice about taking advice from these two chuckling sobriety peddlers with their questionable movie choices and bad parenting decisions. Keep listening, at your own risk, for some tips on navigating the other looming holidays free from the terror of alcohol. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.
  • Addiction
  • Alcohol
  • Recovery
  • Relationship

Ep162 – Get Off Your Back

We humans are hard on ourselves. In fact, it is widely believed that no one will ever be as hard on us as we are on ourselves. Sheri and Matt have experience with that point of view, and on this episode, they share why your perceived self-weakness might just be bravery leading to hope. Cut yourself some slack and listen to their perspective. Also, listen to Matt give Sheri makeup tips. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.
  • Addiction
  • Alcohol
  • Recovery
  • Relationship

Ep161 – The Value of Pain

Pain is thought of as an almost exclusively negative emotion and experience. But does pain serve a purpose? Is pain necessary for forward motion in certain scenarios? And is recovery from alcoholism one such scenario? Sheri and Matt sure think so. Their understanding of pain is not just about progress. On this episode, the couple shares their understanding of pain that can help release shame in the times when we get stuck. They also both have real-time epiphanies of about how pain influences our actions. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.
  • Addiction
  • Alcohol
  • Recovery
  • Relationship
  • Sex

Ep160 – Safety, Connection and Implied Consent with Julia and Liz

What comes first, safety or connection? Can two married people be in two different relationships when it comes to trust and implied consent? Is there guilt inherent in detachment, and rejection inherent in sex without emotional intimacy? Sheri and Matt are joined by Julia and Liz to tackle these incredibly heavy topics. There is not a psychologist among them, but yet, as lived-experience experts, they uncover a lot of therapeutic truth. And Liz solves it all with an analogy to Chutes and Ladders. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.
  • Addiction
  • Alcohol
  • Recovery
  • Relationship

Ep159 – Forgiveness Roundtable

Can forgiveness be achieved without an apology ever being offered? Likewise, can we find comfort in feeling remorse without ever being forgiven? On this special roundtable episode, Sheri and Matt are joined by four lived-experience experts to discuss the power of forgiveness. We are confident you will learn something new, or reconsider what you thought to be true, after listening to this conversation between Dawn, Karen, Mike and Lori. These are some distinctly different personalities and perspectives who have done some serious forgiveness work. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.
  • Addiction
  • Alcohol
  • Recovery
  • Relationship

Ep158 – It Takes Two to Tango

In order for a relationship to survive alcoholism, both partners, the former drinker, and the spouse, need to do an amazing amout of work in recovery. It is not about sobriety, although that is a prerequisite. It is about individual healing and growth. Those two strong people can then come back together to make their relationship thrive. On this episode, Sheri and Matt talk about the different ways one partner or the other can prevent relationship recovery - because they can't or won't find healing themselves. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.
  • Addiction
  • Nutrition

Ep157 – Food and Mood for Alcoholics and Loved Ones with Kelly Miller

Sheri and Matt welcome The Addiction Nutritionist, Kelly Miller, back to the podcast to learn more from this amazing nutrition therapist and recovery coach, and to apply her nutrition lessons to the recovery of the loved ones of people battling addiction. Do you want to feel better, reduce anxiety and regulate your haywire nervous system? If so, this episode is for you. It is full of practical nutrition tips, busted myths, and lots of counterintuitive knowledge about recovery. Kelly lights up the microphone as she shares her passion for feeling better and living better. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.
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