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We are Sheri and Matt Salis, and our marriage survived active alcoholism. We were shocked to find our relationship in even more trouble in recovery because of the pain, lack of trust and years of resentment that sobriety exposed. But we are making it work, and we are sharing our painful story with the millions of alcoholic couples dealing with both active alcoholism, and also the challenges of recovery.

Ep363 – 5 Steps to Navigating Your Partner’s Emotional Relapse

Not all relapses involve alcohol. Sheri offers five effective tactics to navigate the emotional relapse of a partner while continuing to protect your own safety and growth. Please go to UntoxicatedSurvey.org to better understand the impact of alcohol and/or emotional abuse on you and your family. Whether you are the drinker or the partner, whether you feel a lack of emotional safety or don’t really know what that means, we can help you feel supported. Take the survey and learn more about our Echoes of Recovery and SHOUT Sobriety programs. You’ve got this, and we’ve got you.

Ep362 – Ask Lara

Lara Hammock is The Illustrating Therapist and she uses drawings to make relationship patterns easier to see. On this quarterly visit with Sheri and Matt, Lara talks about the importance of having a willingness to change, the emotions that follow the behaviors of detachment (cold anger), and the treatment methods for chaos or productivity addiction. Please check out Lara's The Illustrating Therapist YouTube channel, and send questions for next quarter's "Ask Lara" episode to matt@SoberAndUnashamed.com. And to get your free copy of the RELAX worksheet to use your body to calm your brain, please click this link. Please go to UntoxicatedSurvey.org to better understand the impact of alcohol and/or emotional abuse on you and your family. Whether you are the drinker or the partner, whether you feel a lack of emotional safety or don’t really know what that means, we can help you feel supported. Take the survey and learn more about our Echoes of Recovery and SHOUT Sobriety programs. You’ve got this, and we’ve got you.

Ep361 – Pros at Work, Puddles at Home Roundtable

Our three panelists have a ton of experience being large and in-charge at work, then melting under the anxiety, uncertainty, and emotional abuse of living with alcoholism at home. What a confusing and demoralizing divergent existence. Hear how it feels to be effective and successful, and then also insecure and traumatized, all in the same day, over and over again. Please go to UntoxicatedSurvey.org to better understand the impact of alcohol and/or emotional abuse on you and your family. Whether you are the drinker or the partner, whether you feel a lack of emotional safety or don’t really know what that means, we can help you feel supported. Take the survey and learn more about our Echoes of Recovery and SHOUT Sobriety programs. You’ve got this, and we’ve got you.

Ep360 – Living Alone: Failure or Relief?

When people in committed relationships experience the alcoholism of one of the partners, it is widely assumed that relationship recovery is the ultimate goal. But does that make separation or divorce a sign of failure? Sheri and Matt discuss the relief that often accompanies living alone after relationship trauma, and who benefits the most. Please go to UntoxicatedSurvey.org to better understand the impact of alcohol and/or emotional abuse on you and your family. Whether you are the drinker or the partner, whether you feel a lack of emotional safety or don’t really know what that means, we can help you feel supported. Take the survey and learn more about our Echoes of Recovery and SHOUT Sobriety programs. You’ve got this, and we’ve got you.

Ep359 – Rejecting Contentment

What is the connection between addiction and never truly feeling content? We talk a lot about underlying issues for alcoholism - things like childhood trauma and financial stress. But what about when we chase external fulfillment because we are incapable of internal fulfillment? We pursue chaos because we are not comfortable being content. And what is it like to be in a relationship with someone who never feels contentment? Please go to UntoxicatedSurvey.org to better understand the impact of alcohol and/or emotional abuse on you and your family. Whether you are the drinker or the partner, whether you feel a lack of emotional safety or don’t really know what that means, we can help you feel supported. Take the survey and learn more about our Echoes of Recovery and SHOUT Sobriety programs. You’ve got this, and we’ve got you.

Ep358 – Retreat Roundtable: Feeling Safe with Strangers in the Woods

What is it like to feel safe to speak your mind and explore your emotions? No fear of reaction. No one telling you what to do. Listen to Jen, Nikki, Mike, Tara, Jennifer, and Avia explain the value they find in growing and recovering in a no-judgement zone on this roundtable discussion live from the Echoes of Recovery 2026 summer retreat in the Colorado Rocky Mountains. Please go to UntoxicatedSurvey.org to better understand the impact of alcohol and/or emotional abuse on you and your family. Whether you are the drinker or the partner, whether you feel a lack of emotional safety or don’t really know what that means, we can help you feel supported. Take the survey and learn more about our Echoes of Recovery and SHOUT Sobriety programs. You’ve got this, and we’ve got you.

Ep357 – Sober Living Roundtable

What is sober living, anyway? If an alcoholic has completed detox and treatment, why do they need a sober living environment? Matt used to think sober living was a sign of weakness, and Sheri thought it was a place where they used nicotine as a wall covering. But once they met Kyle, Rebecca, and Nathan, this episode's panelists, Sheri and Matt learned the incredible value of sober living for former drinkers and partners. Click here to read Kyle's full story of hopelessness from 2019. Please go to UntoxicatedSurvey.org to better understand the impact of alcohol and/or emotional abuse on you and your family. Whether you are the drinker or the partner, whether you feel a lack of emotional safety or don’t really know what that means, we can help you feel supported. Take the survey and learn more about our Echoes of Recovery and SHOUT Sobriety programs. You’ve got this, and we’ve got you.

Ep356 – What does the partner owe the drinker?

Leading experts in alcoholism recovery promote that the partner and other family members of the drinker play a role in the drinker's sobriety. Sheri and Matt disagree. What do you think? Please go to UntoxicatedSurvey.org to better understand the impact of alcohol and/or emotional abuse on you and your family. Whether you are the drinker or the partner, whether you feel a lack of emotional safety or don’t really know what that means, we can help you feel supported. Take the survey and learn more about our Echoes of Recovery and SHOUT Sobriety programs. You’ve got this, and we’ve got you.

Ep355 – The Embarrassments of an Intoxicated Summer

Overstaying at the party, making grandiose plans, saying stupid stuff, passing out in public, missing all the social cues: Sheri and Matt talk about his behavior in his intoxicated summers, and how it impacted her and their kids. If you hear examples that feel familiar, please know that it is not OK and you are not alone. Please go to UntoxicatedSurvey.org to better understand the impact of alcohol and/or emotional abuse on you and your family. Whether you are the drinker or the partner, whether you feel a lack of emotional safety or don’t really know what that means, we can help you feel supported. Take the survey and learn more about our Echoes of Recovery and SHOUT Sobriety programs. You’ve got this, and we’ve got you.

Ep354 – How a Lack of Safety Causes a Lack of Connection

Emotional safety is critically important to both relationship recovery, and also individual growth and discovery. We are triggered to soothe when we don't feel safe, and authentic connection is impossible without safety. Sheri and Matt suggest the things that help them feel more individually safe, and mourn connections lost. Please go to UntoxicatedSurvey.org to better understand the impact of alcohol and/or emotional abuse on you and your family. Whether you are the drinker or the partner, whether you feel a lack of emotional safety or don’t really know what that means, we can help you feel supported. Take the survey and learn more about our Echoes of Recovery and SHOUT Sobriety programs. You’ve got this, and we’ve got you.
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