Buy Our Book: soberevolution

We are Sheri and Matt Salis, and our marriage survived active alcoholism. We were shocked to find our relationship in even more trouble in recovery because of the pain, lack of trust and years of resentment that sobriety exposed. But we are making it work, and we are sharing our painful story with the millions of alcoholic couples dealing with both active alcoholism, and also the challenges of recovery.

Exorcising the “F” Word

This is the latest essay from our Untoxicated Blog. To read our hundreds of essays on drinking, emotional safety, and the underlying issues of addiction, please go to SoberAndUnashamed.com. We hope you get a lot out of: “Exorcising the 'F' Word” “You don’t need to come. I’m not dying.” My mom had surgery last week, and that’s what she said when she heard I was flying across the country to help my dad, and to spend time with her, after her surgery. I think her response is part consideration for my busy life–not wanting to be a burden to her not-close-to-retirement son with a bustling family, and part defiance that the surgery posed any kind of risk for her. I get it. And she’s right. I am busy. But damn it, I just keep thinking about my understanding of what people say... If you are ready to consider the impact of alcohol and a lack of emotional safety, on you and your family, as the drinker or the partner of a drinker, please take our brief survey at UntoxicatedSurvey.org so we can share resources, including a free ebook.

Ep349 – Emotional Safety and Raising Kids

When it comes to parenting, there is no shortage of generational trauma cycle breaking to be addressed. Sheri and Matt talk about the two-generation cycle breaking they are working on with their kids, to implement 100% emotional safety after years of alcoholism, emotional abuse, and Matt's mindset that it was his job to make his kids tough and resilient. They also talk about cats and Hawaiian shirts and grad parties. Please go to UntoxicatedSurvey.org to better understand the impact of alcohol and/or emotional abuse on you and your family. Whether you are the drinker or the partner, whether you feel a lack of emotional safety or don’t really know what that means, we can help you feel supported. Take the survey and learn more about our Echoes of Recovery and SHOUT Sobriety programs. You’ve got this, and we’ve got you.

Humans. Am I Right?

This is the latest essay from our Untoxicated Blog. To read our hundreds of essays on drinking, emotional safety, and the underlying issues of addiction, please go to SoberAndUnashamed.com. We hope you get a lot out of: “Humans. Am I Right?” Humans. We humans do some really strange things. Am I right?... If you are ready to consider the impact of alcohol and a lack of emotional safety, on you and your family, as the drinker or the partner of a drinker, please take our brief survey at UntoxicatedSurvey.org so we can share resources, including a free ebook.

Ep348 – Ask Lara for Her BEST Relationship Advice

Lara Hammock is back for another quarterly segment full of probing questions and thoughtful, helpful, well illustrated advice! Lara is a mental health therapist and the host and producer of The Illustrating Therapist YouTube Channel. She shares her all-time best piece of marriage advice, dispels the myth of a bunch of gaslighting evil geniuses, brings comfort to the idea of overfunctioning, and provides a great visual for communication in a romantic partnership. Most importantly, Lara accepts Matt's invitation to his rolling birthday ice cream extravaganza. Please go to UntoxicatedSurvey.org to better understand the impact of alcohol and/or emotional abuse on you and your family. Whether you are the drinker or the partner, whether you feel a lack of emotional safety or don’t really know what that means, we can help you feel supported. Take the survey and learn more about our Echoes of Recovery and SHOUT Sobriety programs. You’ve got this, and we’ve got you.

This Is Why She Doesn’t Trust You

This is the latest essay from our Untoxicated Blog. To read our hundreds of essays on drinking, emotional safety, and the underlying issues of addiction, please go to SoberAndUnashamed.com. We hope you get a lot out of: "This Is Why She Doesn't Trust You" Serving as the facilitator for our Echoes of Recovery group has been the single greatest learning experience of my life. Below are the most important lessons, addressed to people like me. Below the list is how I gained this knowledge. She loves her kids more than she loves you. The lying is worse than the drinking. Broken promises are lies. The sound of your vehicle pulling into the driveway... If you are ready to consider the impact of alcohol and a lack of emotional safety, on you and your family, as the drinker or the partner of a drinker, please take our brief survey at UntoxicatedSurvey.org so we can share resources, including a free ebook.

Ep347 – I Don’t Want to NEED to Be Strong

It is not the compliment you think it is when you tell the partner of a heavy drinker how strong she is. And when you tell her that you'll help more if she makes you a list, you've just asked her to do something else for you. Sheri and Matt discuss this while arguing about flag and snowman stamps, and while analyzing the best way to clean a gorilla cage. Please go to UntoxicatedSurvey.org to better understand the impact of alcohol and/or emotional abuse on you and your family. Whether you are the drinker or the partner, whether you feel a lack of emotional safety or don’t really know what that means, we can help you feel supported. Take the survey and learn more about our Echoes of Recovery and SHOUT Sobriety programs. You’ve got this, and we’ve got you.

Never Quite Measuring Up

Our latest essay from our Untoxicated blog: “Never Quite Measuring Up” I did the math in my head. If the sales revenue generated on the opening day of our fourth location remained even sort-of consistent, we would be good–finally over the hump to financial security. We started with one whole grain bread bakery in 2004, and four years later, we had added three locations, and I thought we had reached our goal. I remember where I was standing, on the stairs leading to our kitchen, when I was overcome by relief. A goal attained. At last. At long last. But it didn’t last. I grew to resent those opening day looky-loos for getting my hopes up. Our fourth location settled into a revenue performance much like that of our other three bakeries. We would survive. But we were not going to thrive. So I looked for a new path to achieve our goal of financial security. I adjusted the product lines, trimmed down our workforce, promoted seasonal specials, changed our operating hours, partnered with other organizations, donated tons of bread in the community. I even ate nothing but whole grain bread for a whole month, and lost weight, to debunk the gluten-free frenzy. And I did it all in pursuit of a goal. Looking back, my memories of that 15 year chunk of my life are cloaked with feelings of inadequacy, insufficiency, a lack of intelligence, poor decision making, and an insurmountable mountain of stress... If you are ready to work through the trauma and shame, as the drinker or the partner of a drinker, please take our brief survey at UntoxicatedSurvey.org so we can share resources, including a free ebook.

Ep346 – Relapse and Divorce with Kim Augustus

On Untoxicated Podcast Ep206, Kim Augustus thought her family had made it out of alcoholism and into solid recovery. In this next chapter, Kim's second appearance on the podcast, she explains how her husband's relapse has led to divorce. Kim's boundaries, detachment, and commitment to providing a safe environment for her kids are guiding her into a new life after addiction. Please go to UntoxicatedSurvey.org to better understand the impact of alcohol and/or emotional abuse on you and your family. Whether you are the drinker or the partner, whether you feel a lack of emotional safety or don’t really know what that means, we can help you feel supported. Take the survey and learn more about our Echoes of Recovery and SHOUT Sobriety programs. You’ve got this, and we’ve got you.

Big Birthday Revolution

Our latest essay from our Untoxicated blog: “Big Birthday Revolution” My dad’s birthday was a couple of weeks ago. I didn’t send him a card. I called him on his birthday, but I got his voicemail, so I left a message. We didn’t talk until the next weekend. By then, it just felt like it had been too long to re-wish him a happy birthday, so I didn’t. He reads my blog, so Dad, happy birthday. There. A voicemail and an interweb shout-out. I still feel guilty. And conflicted... Are you ready for the discoveries of recovery? We hope you'll take our survey to see if you belong in our SHOUT Sobriety program for people moving on after alcohol, or our Echoes of Recovery program for the partners of alcoholics and emotional abusers. Please take our survey at UntoxicatedSurvey.org, and we'll send you free resources.

Ep345 – ADHD and Alcoholism with Annette and Jason

For Jason, alcohol provided clarity for his fuzzy thoughts and lack of clarity. His medicinal drinking helped him thrive at work. But his drinking caused stress, frustration, and trauma for Annette at home. She didn't stop digging until they found  answers, and now they are moving forward on a path of recovery from dual diagnosis: Alcohol use disorder and ADHD. Please go to UntoxicatedSurvey.org to better understand the impact of alcohol and/or emotional abuse on you and your family. Whether you are the drinker or the partner, whether you feel a lack of emotional safety or don’t really know what that means, we can help you feel supported. Take the survey and learn more about our Echoes of Recovery and SHOUT Sobriety programs. You’ve got this, and we’ve got you.
Full Podcast Menu