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Ep24 – When Alcohol Stops Working with Jolene Park

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Alcoholic Destruction of Intimacy in Our Marriage

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My name is Matt Salis, and I’m not satisfied with the stigma associated with addiction, nor outdated approaches to traditional recovery. I have lots of questions and a deep interest in the recovery strategies that are working for my fellow recovery warriors. If you share my curiosity, check out the topics I’ve been exploring…

  • Addiction
  • Relationship

Ep23 – Healthy Delay: The Pace of Recovery for an Alcoholic Spouse

When I was trying to gain my permanent sobriety, I needed my wife's support more than ever. I thought her cautions attitude and reserved enthusiasm was selfish on her part. I didn't understand that she needed to protect herself, and she had no control over my commitment to never drink again. I was the one who was selfish by crushing her soul, then expecting her to celebrate my recovery. We discuss this topic, and also our new ebook written from Sheri's perspective called: He's Sober. Now What? A Spouse's Guide to Alcoholism Recovery. We hope you download it now for free!
October 28, 2019
  • Addiction

Ep22 – Gray Area Drinking with Christy Wynne

Christy Wynne didn't have a spectacular, catastrophic, up-in-flames relationship with alcohol. Sure, she partied for many years, but she decided to leave the booze behind because she just didn't feel right, and she could deny the cause of her health just being off no longer. Now she has taken her sobriety to new levels by coaching other gray area drinkers and speaking out about the damage caused to women by the mommy wine culture. In this episode, we debate the use of the label, "alcoholic," and talk about Christy's one-day-at-a-time approach to sobriety versus Matt's commitment to permanent sobriety. The bottom line is that there is a wide spectrum of people who are questioning their relationship with alcohol, and Christy shares what she has learned about treating each person individually to help them feel better and reach full potential. Christy is @danceyourselfcleancoaching on facebook and Instagram, and you can check out her website and email below: danceyourselfcleancoaching.com christywynne@yahoo.com Here's an article published in Urban Life Wash Park in January of 2019 where Christy discusses gray area drinking: Alcohol and Women: The Unsexy Truth
October 14, 2019
  • Addiction
  • Relationship

Ep21 – Sheri’s Social Drinking: Alcohol Remains Toxic to Our Marriage

The damage done to our marriage by my active alcoholism was massive. We are still trying to deal with the resentment, and repair trust and our intimate relationship. But now, we face an unexpected challenge. Sheri's occasional, social drinking is having a toxic effect on our marriage. I'm not proud of the impact, but I do think it is important that we talk about it. Please let us know what you think. Comment on the episode, or contact us directly: matt@SoberAndUnashamed.com sheri@theStigma.com
September 30, 2019
  • Addiction
  • Speech

Ep20 – Alcoholism is More Prolific than Cancer, and We Are the Cure

Almost 15 million Americans have cancer, but there are more than 15 million American alcoholics. Addiction to alcoholism touches all of our lives. In this speech designed to inform and destigmatize, I talk about how victims of cancer are treated with love and care while victim of alcoholism are treated with scorn and shame. The cure for alcoholism is available to us in changed attitudes and in the voices of those of us willing to tell our stories - willing to wear the label alcoholic without fear. It is a speech about misperception and bravery. It is about societal influence and rejecting the stigma. Most of all, it is about the cure. For more information about speaking opportunites, please visit the Outspoken page of my SoberAndUnashamed.com website, or contact me at matt@SoberAndUnashamed.com.
September 19, 2019
  • Speech
  • Teens

Ep19 – Fearless Teen Drinking: Make Alcohol a Choice

Listen to this speech I wrote for the students at a large, racially and economically diverse high school after they experienced a series of brazen and dangerous incidents of alcohol abuse. We can't convince all adolescents to abstain from alcohol, but we can convince them to make drinking a choice with two acceptable answers. Let's reduce peer pressure and increase mutual respect. Maybe we should give our teens the chance to make the right choice when drinking alcohol isn't an expectation. If you would like to talk about speaking opportunites, please contact me at matt@SoberAndUnashamed.com, or visit my Outspoken website.
September 6, 2019
  • Addiction
  • Relationship

Ep18 – Getting Our Marriage Unstuck with Jason & Lana

Sheri and I are stuck. We have made tremendous progress in the recovery of our relationship, now in the third year of my sobriety, but resentments from the past continue to haunt us. We have unpacked, dealt with, explored, rehashed, discussed and worked through all of the issues. We have apologized - me for my drunken behavior, and Sheri for her angry responses - sincerely and endlessly. But it isn't enough to free Sheri of the burdens of resentment. Good news - Jason is back. Untoxicated Podcast co-founder and licensed addiction counselor and couples therapist Jason Polk is our guest, and he is joined by his friend Lana Isaacson, also a licenced couples therapist and addiction counselor. They offer suggestions about releasing resentments and getting unstuck, as well as tips on a host of other topics faced by relationships in recovery. Lana Isaacson, Jason Polk and Sheri & Matt Salis We are proud to recommend the workshop Lana and Jason are hosting for couples in recovery. They call it, "Have Each Other's Backs Again," and it will be held November 10th in suburban Denver. What a great way to get your marriage back on track after dealing with trauma from alcoholism or anything else that has you stuck. For more information, or to register, go to Lana's website or Jason's website.
August 12, 2019
  • Addiction
  • Relationship

Ep17 – Sheri’s Story, Part 2: Recovering Our Marriage

In part two of a three part series about how Matt's alcoholism has damaged our marriage, Sheri talks about the process of recovering our marriage from the depths of distrust and deceit. While we've made good progress, learning to love again is ongoing and requires patience and massive effort. The raw emotion in this episode tells the whole story.
July 9, 2019
  • SHOUT Sobriety

Ep16 – SHOUT Sobriety Week 6

God has an important place in my life. He always has. I am a very spiritual person, and I pray constantly both now and back when I was in active alcoholism. That's why I don't believe God wants us to let go and let God. For me, God has given direction to my life, but he expects me to do the work to get sober. I don't believe alcoholism is a spiritual problem. I believe it is a brain disease. My faith helps me, but it is not required for permanent sobriety. That's why we leave God mostly out of our SHOUT Sobriety program. We want you to feel welcomed regardless of you spirituality or beliefs. On this episode, we are talking about preparing to send a coming out letter to announce your alcoholism to the world. That's what I did a year into my sobriety, and the day I sent that email was the best day of my life. You don't need to send it today in week six of this program, but it is important to begin crafting the letter and prepare to announce your enlightenment to the world.
June 21, 2019
  • SHOUT Sobriety

Ep15 – SHOUT Sobriety Week 5

Relationships are so important to our happiness and our success in early sobriety. Taking alcohol out of our relationships actually does not fix the problems that our years of drinking caused. Removing alcohol only makes the damage visible and allows us to work on our problems and try to fix our broken relationships. In this episode, we talk about relationships with family members as well as intimate relationships.
June 20, 2019
  • SHOUT Sobriety

Ep14 – SHOUT Sobriety Week 4

The disease of alcoholism has many victims. The spouses and children of an alcoholic are victims. The parents and friends of an alcoholic are victims, too. The victim we forget is the alcoholic. If you are convinced alcoholism is a disease like I am, then the person afflicted with the disease is most definitely a victim. What other disease can you name where the victim is the target of blame and shame? That is no way to heal. Another important point we address in week four of the SHOUT Sobriety program is our emotional immaturity. When we have spent years, and even decades, drowning our emotions in booze, we are completely ill equiped to deal with emotions in sobriety. Our emotional maturity is frozen at the age when we started medicating with alcohol, and we have some serious maturing to do.
June 19, 2019
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