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We are Sheri and Matt Salis, and our marriage survived active alcoholism. We were shocked to find our relationship in even more trouble in recovery because of the pain, lack of trust and years of resentment that sobriety exposed. But we are making it work, and we are sharing our painful story with the millions of alcoholic couples dealing with both active alcoholism, and also the challenges of recovery.

Ep234 – Military Culture

Do you think your industry or environment has a heavy drinking culture? You are probably right, but you are not unique. In this episode, Sheri and Matt talk (from their civilian perspective) about the things that set military families apart. "Thank you for your service," is not enough. If you are or were the partner of an alcoholic, please check out our Alcoholic Intimacy Survey. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Ep233 – Toxic Relationship Patterns with Heidi Rain

Heidi Rain is a relationship expert focused on the link between codependency and addiction. She helps people break free from toxic relationship patters. Sheri and Matt are thrilled to have her join them on the podcast, and you can learn more about her and her important work at HeidiRain.com. If you are or were the partner of an alcoholic, please check out our Alcoholic Intimacy Survey. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Ep232 – Question FOR Listeners: When do kid decisions become unilateral?

During Matt's active addiction, Sheri had to pick and choose the times she discussed big parenting decisions with him, and there was plenty of stress and anxiety around raising the kids, but she never cut Matt off and made parenting decisions unilaterally. What has to happen to make the partner of the drinker cut the drinker off from parental decisions? And what has to happen to re-engage in recovery? We really want to know. Please post your answers in the comment on our Untoxicated Podcast website, or send your response to [email protected]. Sheri and Matt start the episode by answering a listener’s question Do you want to ask the couple something too? if so, send your question to [email protected]. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Ep231 – Marriagevolution Retreat Roundtable

Five couples retreat under a foot of fresh powder to the Rockie Mountains to bask in the glow of the fireplace and revive sore hiking (and shovelling) muscles in the bubbles of the hot tub with not a drop of alcohol among them...and have a fun, bonding, restorative time. A few years ago, Sheri and Matt would not have thought this possible. Do you have doubts? Give the culminating conversation a listen. If you and your partner are working on your relationship in recovery from alcoholism, please consider joining us in the Marriagevolution.

Ep230 – Expectations

What are your expectations for recovery, for you or the people around you? Some expectations are absolute necessities. Others are unachievable, and even harmful. Sheri and Matt talk through a bunch of scenarios and explain how their expectations have changed over time. Sheri and Matt start the episode by answering a listener’s question Do you want to ask the couple something too? if so, send your question to [email protected]. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Ep229 – Roundtable: Navigating Custody of the Kids

***Trigger Warning: Death from alcohol abuse is discussed. Julie, Rachel, Becky and Melanie join the conversation and help Sheri and Matt break down the issues surrounding custody agreements and co-parenting arrangements. From the impact these decisions have on the, "should I stay or should I go," decision, to communicating with the kids, this roundtable episode covers a lot of ground with some very insightful perspectives. Sheri and Matt start the episode by answering a listener’s question Do you want to ask the couple something too? if so, send your question to [email protected]. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Ep228 – Loneliness Leads to Drinking, Drinking Leads to Loneliness

We would never blame one person's alcoholism on the attitude or actions of their partner. But it is also naive to ignore that loneliness in a relationship is an underlying issue that leads to self-medication. And that self-medication creates more distance. Guess what that distance leads to? (If you guessed, "more drinking," you are picking up what we are laying down on this nuanced and complex episode.) Sheri and Matt start the episode by answering a listener’s question Do you want to ask the couple something too? if so, send your question to [email protected]. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Ep227 – Recovery Rumble: Amber vs. Matt

In this corner, making her third appearance on the Untoxicated Podcast, is Master Addiction Counselor, star and host of the Put the Shovel Down YouTube channel, the one, the only, the fabulous Amber Hollingsworth. And in this corner, is an old drunk who seems to now be addicted to asking questions and forming opinion about addiction, Sheri's husband Matt. Sheri referees as these two go toe to toe about the role of the family in the recovery of someone suffering from addiction. It is a seven-round battle about support and detachment. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Ep226 – Enthusiastic Consent

The more Sheri and Matt learn, the more undeniable the connection is between emotional intimacy, physical intimacy, sexual satisfaction and trust. Understanding the connection requires understanding the ways in which alcoholism does damage to intimacy in romantic partnerships. Sheri laughs and cries hard in this emotional episode. Sheri and Matt start the episode by answering a listener’s question Do you want to ask the couple something too? if so, send your question to [email protected]. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Ep225 – D!@k Olympics: Size Isn’t Everything, but You Are a Big One

Early sobriety from high-functioning alcoholism is plagued with dopamine depletion and identity crisis resulting in mood swings, tension, sadness, thin skin and meanness. As a three-time gold medalist in the 2017 D!@k Olympics, Matt leads a roundtable discussion about what is takes to qualify for, and succeed in, this gruelling competition. Sheri and Matt start the episode by answering a listener’s question Do you want to ask the couple something too? if so, send your question to [email protected]. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.
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